Those closely associated with adoption-adult adopted persons, birth parents, adoptive parents, and their friends and families-know that its effects can be felt for a long time, in fact for a lifetime. Adult adoptees often talk about them. For example, many adoptees places as infants have been plagued with low self-esteem throughout life.

Most people at some time in their lives have feared rejection or have felt badly about themselves for one reason or another. But adopted persons have a unique issue that distinguishes them from their peers-they were not raised by their biological parents. Some adoptees spend a lot of time wondering why their birth parents placed them for adoption, and what their life would have been like if they had not been adopted. They wonder if something was wrong with them from the start that caused them to be placed with other parents.

Some adopted persons link all of their problems to the fact that they were adopted. Others do not make that connection or insist that having been adopted has not interfered with their ability to live a happy, fulfilling life. Others feel very positively about their adoption experience, but realize that adoption brings with it certain issues. Just about everyone who has been adopted faces issues of identity and feelings of loss, especially at milestone events-such as graduation from high school or college, marriage, the birth of a child, or the death of an adoptive parent. Adopted persons may wonder how their birth parents would feel if they knew their child had reached these milestones.

Some adopted persons are able to work through their feelings on their own or with the support of friends and family; others seek professional help to deal with the range of emotions they feel about having been adopted.

Adoptees suffer from a fear of loss. They tend to see loss all over the place,in a broad context of situations. Even those adopted in infancy often feel a sense of loss and think, If it happened once, it can happen again."

Many adopted adults in therapy have complaints of depression, alcohol or drug use, marital problems, or problems with their children. Frequently they have difficulty maintaining intimate relationships. While many adoptees feel remarkably free of conflict, others wrestle with the concerns and questions about identity and self-esteem, feelings of abandonment, and an interest in obtaining information about their genetic background.

References
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