Issues Facing Adult Adoptees
By Dr. Randi Fredricks, Ph.D.
Often when people hear the word "adoption," they think of an infertile, childless couple delightedly gazing into the
eyes of their recently adopted newborn baby. They are thrilled to finally be parents, and are totally involved in
meeting the immediate needs of the child. But what about the years that follow? Do the effects of adoption stop
the moment that a child comes home to the new parents?
Those closely associated with adoption-adult adopted persons, birth parents, adoptive parents, and their friends
and families-know that its effects can be felt for a long time, in fact for a lifetime. Adult adoptees often talk
about them. For example, many adoptees places as infants have been plagued with low self-esteem throughout life.
Most people at some time in their lives have feared rejection or have felt badly about themselves for one
reason or another. But adopted persons have a unique issue that distinguishes them from their peers-they
were not raised by their biological parents. Some adoptees spend a lot of time wondering why their birth
parents placed them for adoption, and what their life would have been like if they had not been adopted.
They wonder if something was wrong with them from the start that caused them to be placed with other parents.
Some adopted persons link all of their problems to the fact that they were adopted. Others do not make that
connection or insist that having been adopted has not interfered with their ability to live a happy,
fulfilling life. Others feel very positively about their adoption experience, but realize that adoption
brings with it certain issues. Just about everyone who has been adopted faces issues of identity and feelings
of loss, especially at milestone events-such as graduation from high school or college, marriage, the birth of
a child, or the death of an adoptive parent. Adopted persons may wonder how their birth parents would feel
if they knew their child had reached these milestones.
Some adopted persons are able to work through their feelings on their own or with the support of friends and
family; others seek professional help to deal with the range of emotions they feel about having been adopted.
Adoptees suffer from a fear of loss. They tend to see loss all over the place,in a broad context of situations.
Even those adopted in infancy often feel a sense of loss and think, If it happened once,
it can happen again."
Many adopted adults in therapy have complaints of depression,
alcohol or drug use, marital problems, or problems with their children. Frequently they have
difficulty maintaining intimate relationships. While many adoptees feel remarkably free of conflict,
others wrestle with the concerns and questions about identity and self-esteem,
feelings of abandonment, and an interest in obtaining information about their genetic background.
References (To view, roll mouse over the "References" heading; to hide, click on the heading)
Lifton, B. J., (1988). Lost and found: The adoption experience, (2nd ed.). New York: Harper and Row Publishers.
Lifton, B. J., (1994). Journey of the adopted self: A quest for wholeness. New York: Basic Books/HarpersCollins Publishers.
Hetherington, M. E., & Park, R. D. (1986). Child psychology: A contemporary viewpoint. New York: McGraw-Hill.
Humphrey. M. & Ounsted. C. (1963). Adoptive Families Referred for Psychiatric Advice. British Journal of Psychiatry, 109, 599-608.
Phipps. P. (1953). Adoption: A study of the problems involved in child guidance cases from the point of view of a psychiatric social worker. Mental Health. 12, 98-107.
Reitz, M. & Watson, K., (1992). Adoption and the family system. New York: Guildford Publications.
Sorosky, A. D., Baran, A., & Pannor, R., (1978). The adoption triangle. New York: Anchor.
Tizard, B., & Rees, J. (1974). A comparison of the effects of adoption, restoration to the natural mother, and continued institutionalization on the cognitive development of four year old children. Child Development, 45, 92-99.
Toussieng, P. W. (1962). Thoughts regarding the etiology of psychological difficulties in adopted children. Child Welfare, 41, 59-65.
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