The longer-term effects, measured five years post-divorce, show approximately one-third of the children continuing to be affected at school, at home, and interpersonally. Many factors have been identified as contributing to children's post-divorce problems including the child's sex, parental coping styles, financial and social stability, and the structure of custody and visitation.

Current literature allows for the categorization of a child's chronic poor post-divorce adjustment based upon whether a non-custodial or non-residential parent is (1) semi-absent, (2) rejected, (3) dysfunctional, (4) or whether both parents are anxiously or hostilely engaged. Clinically these issues have strong roots and pre-existing family dynamics but they also have current strong family dynamic issues, so that there really exists a post-divorce "ghost" family.

Semi-Absent Parents

The semi-absent parent visits erratically with the children. The pre-divorce parent-child relationship may have varied in quality but was not, truly dysfunctional. This semi-absent parent typically withdraws from involvement with the child. Financial disengagement is often associated with the semi-absent parent. The residential parent responds to the semi-absent parent typically with anger and unconscious dependency represented by a failure to assume responsibility for financial concerns and a failure to take responsibility for the child's time and relationship with the semi-absent parent.

Rejected Parents

Some children actively reject a parent. An alliance is often, but not always, developed with the emotionally weaker parent against the stronger parent. The child's symptom pattern has markedly hysterical and phobic features. The quality of the child's rejection of the nonresidential parent differs from the child's reaction to clearly dysfunctional parents in at least two ways: the rejection is not based upon objectively noted parental dysfunction such as abuse, alcoholism, neglect, or mental disturbance; the child lacks the conscious ambivalent feelings normally seen in a child raised by dysfunctional parents.

Dysfunctional Parents

According to recent studies, some 20 percent of all non-custodial parents, usually fathers, are significantly dysfunctional. They are physically abusive to wives or children, sexually abusive to children, alcoholic, drug abusing, or seriously emotionally disturbed. When these parents substantially decrease involvement post-divorce, the children tend to do better. When these parents remain actively and routinely involved in the child's life, special precautions are often required to attenuate the negative effects on the child. Of the possible dysfunctions, incest is a substantial issue. Studies have shown that accusations of sexual abuse in child custody cases have risen markedly. The child's relationship with the paternal abuser may be marked with ambivalence.

Hostile Parents

Anxiously or hostilely engaged parents may be the sole or primary parent, the non-residential parent, or even engaged in joint parenting. These anxious or hostile parents have not successfully separated and remain, instead, actively engaged in the divorce process with issues of distrust, overinvolvement in the ex-spouse's life, and overinvolvement in the ex-spouse's parenting. High degrees of conflict during custody settlements and relitigation are also hallmarks of these families. The child's particular needs are ignored and the child is most often viewed as a possession which is not being adequately shared or surrendered by the ex-spouse. The child frequently responds with consciously expressed attachment and, especially in latency and adolescence, with the verbalized desire to "be fair." Anxiety is unconsciously expressed in school deterioration, and symptoms such as classic separation anxiety, clinging, and regressive behaviors.

How Therapy Can Help

Even families experiencing chronic and severe post-divorce problems can be assisted by therapeutic intervention. Styles of therapeutic intervention can be designed to meet the specific problems of the children and families. Within a therapeutic environment parents do have some capacity to develop more trust, empathy, and tolerance for existing differences. They also have the ability to develop the specific behavior and cognitive strategies necessary to assist their children in working through specific problems of divorce.

As is true with general therapy, some situations are more amenable to change than others. Across problem areas, the more collusive, distrustful parents had the most difficulty assisting their children with post-divorce problems. These parents had the most difficulty putting therapeutic recommendations into effect. Parents who had the least concern that the other parent would have a substantial role in the child's life seemed to have the most ease in dealing with their child's post-divorce difficulties.

References
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