After a catastrophic event, such as the loss of a loved one or an accident, children may be fearful, sad, or apprehensive.
However, most children recover from their feelings of fear in a short time.
A key element in recovery is the support children get from parents, teachers, and other adults. In assisting children in
coping with trauma, assume that every child will have some level of reaction, although most will be relatively mild.
All children seem to benefit from active involvement and awareness of a concerned adult, instead of a more passive
approach which delays action until significant problems are observed.
Children may be particularly vulnerable due to their more limited coping and communication skills, the powerful influence
of media exposure such as television, and the often insufficient attention focused on early identification and
intervention for children affected by traumatic events. To help deal with kids' feelings after a traumatic event,
To help a child cope with trauma, a parent or guardian can do the following:
- Anticipate needs. Take the initiative: approach children to chat, to talk about their feelings and concerns about a
traumatic or scary event before they bring it up. It is easier for children if the adults anticipate their needs and open
up the lines of communication, particularly in difficult times. This also sends the message that a topic is okay
to talk about with adults.
Look at these discussions as a process. Use brief, frequent chats, rather than a single all-inclusive presentation, as
a way of exploring feelings and thoughts. Such chats are more natural and allow for observation and interaction and
are less likely to be overwhelming or 'preachy' to children.
- Use candor-with discretion. This should be the theme of all adult-to-child communication on traumatic incidents.
Be honest, but give details and explanations at a level commensurate with the child's cognitive and emotional capacity.
It is healthy and appropriate to begin with more limited sharing that provides a foundation for future elaboration.
We can do much to assist children in dealing with reality but cannot and should not attempt to rewrite reality for
children.
- Let kids know how you feel. While adults dealing with children in distress should maintain a moderate level of
composure, it is often helpful to let children know that adults, too, experience upsetting feelings. Children need
to know that adults are sometimes scared and seek support from those around them and that it is OK to hurt-but that
the pain does get better with time.
Most children and teenagers will recover from their fear. If, after a month, a child is still showing signs of distress,
professional help may be indicated. Signs of distress include not sleeping or eating; excessive clinging; re-experiencing
the event through nightmares, recollections or play; emotional numbing; or persistent fears about disaster.
If a child or adolescent is experiencing these symptoms, seek the assistance of a school counselor or other
mental health professional.
Randi Fredricks
has a Doctorate in Naturopathy and a Masters in Psychology. She runs her own natural health business,
All Things Well,
and counsels clients at her office in San Jose, California. You can reach her at 800-957-5655 or
contact her online. This article is taken partially or in whole from Randi Fredricks' book
Healing & Wholeness: Complementary and Alternative Therapies for
Mental Health. Copyright © 2008. All rights reserved.
No part of this article may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems.
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