Our society is just beginning to acknowledge gay, lesbian and bisexual individuals, but we are a long way from acceptance.
Now, more than ever, GLBT relationships are being scrutinized for their merit, and civil liberties are being debated.
As if life isn't stressful enough, gay, lesbian and bisexual individuals must contend with the hate-filled rhetoric of
those who would condemn them for who they are. It's easy to understand why so many people in the GLBT community struggle
with issues of chemical dependency, self-worth, and what it means to be in a committed relationship.
Gay couples have many of the same issues that heterosexual couples have, but unfortunately, there are also some major
differences in same-sex relationships that can put additional stressors on these relationships.
- Partners in same-sex relationships must deal with the stress of homophobia, society’s widespread fear and
condemnation of their sexual orientation. Partners are often left feeling isolated and unable to talk with support
networks about their situations
- Same-sex relationships involve similar gender socialization histories – this can serve as a commonality and
connection but it can also create difficulties
- Internalized homophobia occurs when individuals internalize the negative messages from culture and believe
that heterosexuality is preferable. It greatly impacts their self-esteem and ability to be happy due to their own
fears and guilt about being gay
- Having to be “discreet” or “silent” about their relationships in certain situations leads couples to
associate “hidden” with “bad”
- Non-romantic relationships with others can be affected because of others’ reluctance or fear about being
in a relationship with a gay person
- Gay couples are affected on a daily basis with issues that heterosexuals do not have to face such
as “coming out”, job discrimination, hate remarks, and societal condemnation.
Before beginning any treatment with a GLBT client, a therapist has the responsibility of making sure he or she is well
versed on issues related to sexuality, has the skills necessary to create a positive and nonjudgmental environment,
and will not feel uncomfortable discussing issues related to homosexuality.
Couples therapy should be treated no different than marital therapy, aside from the obvious legal and social issues.
Any bias a therapist has will be very difficult to hide when dealing with relationship issues with a gay or lesbian
client. Their relationships should be treated with the same legitimacy as any committed relationship, and the therapist
should be aware that like any sexual relationship, their may be intimacy concerns, fidelity issues, children, parents,
and other issues that may be a part of treatment.
Randi Fredricks
has a Doctorate in Naturopathy and a Masters in Psychology. She runs her own natural health business,
All Things Well,
and counsels clients at her office in San Jose, California. You can reach her at 800-957-5655 or
contact her online. This article is taken partially or in whole from Randi Fredricks' book
Healing & Wholeness: Complementary and Alternative Therapies for
Mental Health. Copyright © 2008. All rights reserved.
No part of this article may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems.
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