Incestuous sexual abuse is one of the most devastating types of abuse because it causes us to develop warped perceptions and dysfunctional relationships with multiple facets of our self. Codependency is about having a dysfunctional relationship with our self. With our own bodies, minds, emotions, and spirits. With our own gender and sexuality. With being human. It is because we have dysfunctional, warped, negative internal relationships with our self and different components of our self, that we have dysfunctional relationships externally.

Sexual abuse impacts all of the internal relationships, but it has particularly poisonous effects on our relationships with our own body, sexuality, and often, gender. These are 3 different relationships - intimately interrelated, but separate. Each relationship needs to have some healing energy focused upon it specifically.

Any sexual abuse adds levels to the healing process - layers of shame to our wounding. The incredible pain and shame generated by sexual abuse often causes a person to identify their body, and their sexuality, as the enemy. Incest and sexual abuse cause self hatred. In cases of sexual abuse / incest that occurred over a period of time, inevitably, naturally and normally, some victims had physiological responses - became physically aroused in reaction to the abuse. This feels like a monstrous betrayal by one's own body, and results in such a depth of shame that a survivor will go to great lengths (and some time weights) to punish the body and keep the memory suppressed.

Obesity is one of the effects of sexual abuse for some people. Food is not only a way of nurturing self and numbing the pain, but the extra weight is like armor put on for protection against the betrayal of our bodies and sexuality.

Promiscuity is an effect for some people. Having to disassociate during the sexual abuse leads to disassociating from our own bodies and sexuality - and acting out sexually. Many sex addicts were sexually abused as children. Sex addiction is not about sexual expression. Sex addiction is a defense against emotions - is a way to avoid feeling feelings.

The dysfunctional relationship with one's own sexuality, often means that a person can have sex with people they don't like, but not with someone they do like and feel close to emotionally. Sexuality is not associated with love for many incest survivors - it is related to as something bad and painful. Or as something to be used to manipulate and control rather than an intimate, beautiful expression of self to be shared with someone special.

Self mutilation is another one of the effects of sexual abuse - and this can take many forms. When a child/adolescent/teenager has their relationship with their self mutilated, they end up being self destructive in a variety of ways.

Perhaps the most tragic effect of incest and sexual abuse is that some of the victims become perpetrators themselves - passing on the legacy.