What is self-esteem? A type of confidence? Or something far greater? The manner in which I address self-esteem is very
personalized. My approach casts a new light on this often
misunderstood subject, redefining self-esteem as an actual "core power" that is essential to our evolutionary progress.
I believe that our potential for success in life is determined by how greatly we "esteem" or value who you truly are.
In therapy, we can look at its roots in childhood, and branching into the real world of daily experience -
including finances, relationships, and spirituality.
Often self-esteem is often negatively effected by life changes, such as divorce and medical problems.
In order to maintain and rebuild your self-esteem. our work together will address the following;
How your strong self-esteem threatens other people - and why you must strengthen it anyway
How your intuition, spiritual guidance, self-healing capacity, and your self-esteem all depend on each other
Special guided exercises for cultivating healthy, vibrant self-esteem
How Our Self-Esteem Changes As We Age
After decades of debate, a consensus is emerging about the way self-esteem develops across the lifespan. On average,
self-esteem is relatively high in childhood, drops during adolescence (particularly for girls), rises gradually throughout
adulthood, and then declines sharply in old age. Despite these general age differences, individuals tend to maintain their
ordering relative to one another: Individuals who have relatively high self-esteem at one point in time tend to have
relatively high self-esteem years later. This type of stability (i.e., rank-order stability) is somewhat lower during
childhood and old age than during adulthood, but the overall level of stability is comparable to that found for other
personality characteristics. In psychotherapy, understanding these patterns of self-esteem development is important
when working with issues involving self-esteem with children and adults.
Changing Low Self-Esteem and Insecurity
Low self-esteem and insecurity are often a fear of negative evaluation - a fear that someone will think badly of you. If you have low self-esteem, this fear will be
perpetuated. It is of paramount importance to develop a sense of self worth, to like yourself and acknowledge the many
important aspects and qualities you have. Then you won't worry so much about what others think of you.
Everyone has wonderful special qualities that are unique to them. In order to maintain or build our self-esteem,
it's important to recognize them and nurture these qualities within ourselves. There are many ways to develop a sense of
self worth and self-esteem. You can read books on self development, you can do courses on self-esteem or talk to a
therapist, you can treat yourself kindly and acknowledge your accomplishments and special qualities as well as
being aware of what is important to you.
Below Are some helpful ways to start developing self-esteem.
Take full responsibility for your life, stop blaming others.
Consciously generate rational thoughts and feelings of approval for yourself and acceptance in place of old
thoughts of inferiority and inadequacy. Be in charge of your thoughts.
Be willing to create a lifestyle that generates, nourishes and maintains sound self-esteem (associate with others who
have high self-esteem).
Participate in life at the highest level you can and do things you like to do.
Watch what you say, avoid excessively negative criticism of yourself, and stop being critical of others.
Keep your awareness (thoughts) focused in the present time instead of living in the past or future.
See yourself as being self sufficient and don’t come from a needy place in your relationships.
Stop feeling guilty. See mistakes as valuable lessons. See the cause and effect in your behavior
(what produces desirable results and what does not) in place of moral judgments of right/wrong, good/bad, better/worse.
Treat yourself lovingly every chance you get.
Give yourself the simple pleasures in life.
Positively acknowledge yourself frequently and keep a diary of all your strengths, qualities and accomplishments.
Invest money in yourself Go to seminars, workshops, start a self-enhancement account to keep track of what you do for
yourself.
Give yourself permission to do nothing, periodically. Schedule time by yourself.
Building self esteem is some of the most important work we can do together.
For more information about how I work, please call my office for an appointment ().
San Jose Therapy Counseling Psychotherapy psychotherapist therapist
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