All of us have a need for acceptance, love, commitment, and nurturing. Those who are lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgendered are no exception. In a perfect world, there would be no great difference for people in discovering that they are gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgendered as opposed to discovering they are heterosexual. All individuals would be given the opportunities and safety to explore and learn about their own sexual orientation and gender identity. Instead, our society enforces strong codes of conduct regarding sexual behaviors and a majority of the population tells individuals that they need to be heterosexual. All evidence indicates that same-sex attraction is simply a different orientation - not anything unusual or a perversion.

Coming Out

The term "coming out" refers to a continual process of disclosure about one’s sexual orientation or gender identity. It is not a one-time occurrence, but a life-long process of revealing and disclosing one’s sexual identity.

If you are questioning your own sexual orientation or gender identity, you have probably already experienced the fear, anger, and misunderstandings, perhaps even safety issues that those who are heterosexual rarely have to face. You may feel very alone and isolated as you wade through the cultural prejudice and your own misconceptions of what it means to be gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgendered. You may also have a difficult time reconciling your sexuality with your views of spirituality or religion, and you may have a vague sense of not fitting into societal or cultural expectations but are not sure why you feel so lonely and afraid.

When coming out, some individuals may even become suicidal as they contemplate and experience a life of exposure to negative stereotypes and harassment. It is important at this time that you get accurate information and support.

Many LGBTQI people find counseling helpful in facing challenges in their lives, such as:

• Coming out to friends and family
• Gender identity
• Raising children in a LGBTQI identified family
• Dating and intimacy
• Building healthy relationships
• Difficulty with depression, grief, or loss
• Stress or anxiety
• Sexual dysfunction
• A history of physical or sexual violence
• Responding to oppression
• Living with HIV/AIDS

While some adolescents and adults struggle with the issues of coming out, many have been out for years. Although this may seem like an easy thing on the surface, society as a whole tends to overlook the discrimination and difficulties that LGBTQI persons face on a daily basis. These problems can be significant when they affect self-esteem, identity, and relationships, and lead to high levels of stress, anxiety, and depression. Just like anyone else, people in the LGBTQI spectrum have unique psychological and spiritual issues.

At any point in your process of self-discovery, it may be helpful to seek professional help and support from a counselor. When you work with me, you will definitely feel understood and supported in your journey to health, happiness, and wholeness.